I have done a good job at staying out of the ‘drama’ that is happening in the blogosphere, yet my name keeps being brought up in this tornado. For the past 3 years (more so in the last 8 months), I have been cyberstalked by a stranger and his girlfriend. He has taken his immaturity to all sorts of social networking, including YouTube, twitter, and blog posts and has used electronic communications to try to tear down my personal website and blog.
Proof that this person admits to ‘stalking’ (in his words) me, as well as Trisha. This is one of many comments.
What IS Cyber Stalking?
Cyber-stalking includes these things:
- Malice
- Premeditation
- Repetition
- Distress
- Obsession
- Vendetta
- No Legitimate Purpose
- Personally Directed
- Disregarded Warnings to Stop
- Harassment
I am not the only person he has done this too. They attack anyone that respond via blog or on Twitter.
It’s time we as a community take a stand against cyber-stalking. This is a serious matter and no one should feel afraid to post an opinion on a blog, work with a company, or have friends online without being attacked. I am pretty quiet in the blogosphere and tend to keep to myself, so when my name is bashed out there for ‘rigging contests’ and for supporting friends in the blogosphere, this is when it becomes uncalled for. I do not, nor have I ever, rigged a contest for anyone. I use Random.org and post screen shots from every contest and winner’s information. If that 1st winner doesn’t reply, I choose a second. When the 2nd winner doesn’t reply, I have the item donated to a needy charity. Why is my name brought up in this? Because I am friends with Trisha. Trisha has done a lot for the blogosphere, her community, as well as for my family.
The truth is that contacting a bloggers companies or friends online is considered harassment, slander, illegal and overall, it is truly scary. This has been going on, non-stop, for over 8 months, and I do not think it will stop anytime soon, if at all. It’s just a new tactic.
I love the companies that I work with, the readers that visit me on a daily basis, and I know you don’t want to be pulled into “online drama” but as this is my livelihood and my business, I wanted you to hear it from me that there is an email that is being sent out that is blatantly lies. Think about it, if it’s not us conforming to them, will it be your company next? Will you be on the attack list for a move you made within your company? In my opinion, this was a very unclassy move to make. Seriuosly, sending out emails telling people not to work with blogs? If that was the case, then no companies need to work with any blogs. Of all seriousness, this is a plea to force myself, as well as Trisha and a few others out of the blogosphere. Not going to happen. I am good at what I do, I am good at what I write and I am truthful.
I have two police reports filed that are currently pending, and will be reactivated. Fortunately Trisha Haas from MomDot.com has hired an attorney, as of this morning, so I have hope that their attacks, after a year now, will soon come to an end. However, if they don’t, the person you shouldn’t be working with isn’t me, or Mom Dot, or any victim of this malicious behavior, it is them for perpetrating it under false names, false blogs, and false accounts.
I am here to do what I love.. Write and give information to my readers. If you choose not to read, that is your choice. I just hope that the choice is your choice and not that of another.
Last, but not least – yes, I have banned some IP’s and readers from my blog. Not because I have anything to hide, but because leaving harassing and threatening comments on my website is uncalled for. If I have banned you by accident, please feel free to email me.
You can read more about Cyber-Stalking here.
About Tanya
This stuff just gets to the point where “they” need to take a good hard look in the mirror and grow up. This isn’t high school and everyone in this situation has children. What would you say to your kids when you are in jail for Harassment? Further more how can you have so much hate built up inside you to create the awful websites that are just about tearing someone down. Sounds to me like someone should get a shrink and start working on the real issues at hand.
Kas
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Tanya,
It’s sad that just because you talk to someone that person doesn’t like this is what they do. Seriously it’s WRONG on so many levels. It is sick! Just remember you don’t have to put up with it and we love you. Also remember that you have a lot of support behind you!
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Tanya Reply:
December 3rd, 2009 at 5:16 PM
@Gena, Gena, I TOTALLY agree! While Trisha and I are friends, there may be posts that I don’t or won’t agree with from her, or ANYONE in the blogosphere for that matter, and vice versa, but the entire point is friends support each other and are there when we NEED them the most. I am a friend and I love my friends. Cyberstalking is a crime, no matter how pretty the stalkers paint the picture.
Thank you so much for your support and all my friends!
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Gena Reply:
December 3rd, 2009 at 5:35 PM
@Tanya, I agree! Ya know I got a comment saying “well if my friend did that I wouldn’t be friends with them anymore.” Isn’t that sad? Seriously A true friend would disagree and leave it that. Then they’d FORGIVE. Isn’t that what a friend is supposed to do? I don’t know but maybe I just have friends that love me unconditionally and aren’t afraid to tell me how they feel because they know I love them unconditionally as well!
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I am absolutely shocked at the things that have been said. If you don’t agree with someone, then agree t disagree. But to go out and threaten, and bash people is not OK! It’s not OK to trash talk people.
while I don’t agree with the so called “airport post” I would never say the things that have been said. Was it wrong. Yes but does anyone deserve to be threatened or made they need to hide their blogs, no.
I have seen the crap that is being said, the fake accounts and the slanderous comments and it disgusts me. I can’t believe a grown man with a girlfriend and kids would say those kind of things.
the screen shot above shows he thinks it’s funny to stalk people.
that is just not OK! It’s OK to say you disagree with someone, but it’s not OK to threaten them. I just don’t get why your name is brought into everything that is said about Trisha. oh wait, it’s because your friends with her therefor you must agree with everything she says and does.
Friends are there for each other through think and thin, and it’s friends who are there for you and to show you when your making a fool out of yourself.
You are a good friend T.
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Tanya Reply:
December 3rd, 2009 at 4:50 PM
@Amanda, She is even your sister, Amanda. If you really think like this as family, can you imagine what everyone else thinks? I can only imagine how embarrassing it is for you right now! Must be hard to work so hard on your blog to have her take it down by affiliation. You told me and everyone at an event a few weeks ago that your sister was on anti-psychotic medication and you thought she needed to get back on it. I couldn’t imagine having her as a sister.
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I found some information that I wnated to share since I know what has been going on. I know its long but I thought it was worth it.
Forty-six states now have laws that explicitly include electronic forms of communication within stalking or harassment laws. State laws that do not include specific references to electronic communication may still apply to those who threaten or harass others online, but specific language may make the laws easier to enforce. Two reports from the U.S. Department of Justice provide detailed information on cyberstalking: Stalking and Domestic Violence: Report to Congress and Cyberstalking: A New Challenge for Law Enforcement and Industry. Other related NCSL resources: Enacted Cyberbullying Legislation. Last update: March 12, 2009.
We do have a Cyberstalking laws in Iowa. Iowa Code 708.7 Harrasment. I have read it and I think you should file a suit against them if it goes on. Below is some brief information on the code.
708.7 Harassment.
1. a. A person commits harassment when, with intent to intimidate, annoy, or alarm another person, the person does any of the following:
(1) Communicates with another by telephone, telegraph, writing, or via electronic communication without legitimate purpose and in a manner likely to cause the other person annoyance or harm.
(2) Places a simulated explosive or simulated incendiary device in or near a building, vehicle, airplane, railroad engine or railroad car, or boat occupied by another person.
(3) Orders merchandise or services in the name of another, or to be delivered to another, without the other person’s knowledge or consent.
(4) Reports or causes to be reported false information to a law enforcement authority implicating another in some criminal activity, knowing that the information is false, or reports the alleged occurrence of a criminal act, knowing the act did not occur.
b. A person commits harassment when the person, purposefully and without legitimate purpose, has personal contact with another person, with the intent to threaten, intimidate, or alarm that other person. As used in this section, unless the context otherwise requires, “personal contact” means an encounter in which two or more people are in visual or physical proximity to each other. “Personal contact” does not require a physical touching or oral communication, although it may include these types of contacts.
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I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
But good for you for sticking up to him and not letting him get away with it. I hope the police make him stop and you don’t have to take legal action.
Wishing you the best of holiday seasons.
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I, Myself have been through it all too. I had to contact the police as well. They stopped and also closed their site. It’s a shame he was a grown man, married, with a son. He sat online, made fun of people/kids who he thought was ugly.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Hope things get better for you
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I don’t think the authorities take this as seriously as they should. New laws have to be written to protect people online, these bullies sit behind a computer screen, probably in their parents basement, and don’t worry about repercussions, it’s time this stopped. There should be serious penalties for messing with a persons business, big or small. (((hugs)))
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It’s sickening how desperate some ppl are for attention that they pick on others like we are in elementary school–lame! I know you and Trisha will get through this and that eventually these ppl will get bored.
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I have been there myself when I was still on blogger someone threatened me weeks before blogher saying they were going to hit me and such, well they obviously didn’t.
I dont’ agree with things that have been done, harassing and threats are never ever okay. I think if there is something you think sponsors should be aware of it is fine to contact them but that is not bullying or stalking someone or even signing a petition, i will say right out I will do that and if someone felt I posted something in appropiate fully expect them to report me to sponsors. What isn’t okay is the harassment I have seen by some to a point of essentially threatening others.
I am just sick of it all and sorry so many are going through it.
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I follow you on Twitter and saw the tweet to this post and had to read it, seeing that cyber-stalking was being mentioned a lot today. After reading your post all I can say is wow! I’m sorry that you and Trisha and anyone else that may be getting stalked has to go through this. Good for you for taking a stand against it and doing something to protect yourself.
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I came to read your blog, because I saw it mentioned at Trisha’s blog. I’ve been a victim too. Odd how you say people write to the companies that work with you. I had someone send out mass emails to my readers to attempt to get them to unsubscribe. The bullying needs to stop. I don’t think it’s coincidence that I found Trisha and you when I did. It’s wide spread, this bullying. It’s sick. If people choose to succumb to the bullies tactics then they don’t need to remain subscribers with my blogs. And when we stand up against their behavior I either get emails telling me to stop or supportive emails saying thank you. If I get 5 that hate me for describing bully behavior and one fearful voice whisper out, “Thank you, Lisa”. I’ll take the 5 so the one can be thankful. Sometimes people, who have been victims, are afraid to speak out. Just look at what happens to us when we do. It’s no wonder so many are afraid to speak out.
Keep speaking out, you stand for so many!
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